I See You Have Children…
CHAPTER 26 (From Practical Soul Book)
December 1978.
I was eight years old.
My Mom and Dad started a tradition.
We would head down to Simpson’s at Yonge and Queen St. around the holidays.
We spent some time looking at the big, bright and active windows that had been set up for holiday viewing, drawing in crowds to watch the animated figures in various winter holiday scenes.
We then went inside Simpson’s to visit Santa and get a photo.
Afterwards - the best part - I was allowed to pick out one gift before Christmas.
I remember scanning the aisles - what was drawing me in…
and then I found her.
This very cute, very sweet, very petite pink hippo with big black eyes and the best smile looking right at me. Like she was picking me just as I was picking her.
I gently picked her up and looked into her eyes.
That moment felt like we were imprinting on each other, as mother and child.
I gave her a kiss and a big hug.
And just like that, Hilly and I went home.
Even as a child I had deep feelings of empathy.
I wished for everyone not to be alone.
It even went so far as me seeing a spoon in the sink and feeling for it.
I would grab another spoon in the drawer and put it beside it in the sink.
Of course this was also evidence of my early unconsciousness about dishes needing to be washed but hey, it’s the thought that counts.
I would continue this practice with the spoons into my adulthood until Jim said with exasperation, “Can you just put the spoon in the dishwasher with its community!”
I hadn’t even thought of that?!
“Great idea”, I said. From then on, our spoons had community support.
I had such a strong connection with Hilly and knowing my spoon story now, you know where I went next…
Jer-Bear joined our family.
And then just like the spoon in the dishwasher, the family grew.
Next came Lexi.
Then Rudes.
Then Lem.
I became the mother of five stuffed hippos. My hippo children.
Shortened to HARJL.
H - Hillary - nicknamed “Hilly” and “Triple H” meaning Hyper Hilarious Hilly.
A - Alexia - nicknamed “Lexi” and “Lex”
R - Rudy - nicknamed, “Rudes” - self-nicknamed ‘Mazing’ (because if he drops the ‘A,’ he believes it makes him even better than amazing).
J - Jeremy - nicknamed “Jer” and “Jer Bear”
L - Lemony - nicknamed “Lem” and “Lemmers”
H has an oldest (and smallest) child vibe.
A petite pink hippo with a cheeky smile and “go get it” energy.
She’s got confidence, assertiveness leaning towards attitude and straight up talk.
Some of Hilly’s famous lines, “None of your bin-ness” and “Love you, bye-bye”.
A has an old soul vibe.
A taller and more mature pink hippo with grace and beauty and a love of dancing.
She’s got assuredness, wisdom, great wit and puts her brothers in their place.
Some of Lex’s famous lines, “Oh the things I put up with” and “Net-Fix! Net-Fix! Play K-dramas!”
R has a needy child vibe.
A taller and less mature blue hippo with the sweetest soul.
He’s got a lot of emotional needs; he deals with his insecurities by letting the world know he can do everything but needs constant reassurance and a whole lotta hugs.
His best buddy is Jim and he loves watching the Leaf games with him and being the “mazing sports commentator”.
Some of Rude’s famous lines, “Can you hold me like a baby?” and “I’m Mazing”.
J has the lone child rebel vibe.
A smaller muscular blue hippo who is our very own “action hero”.
He’s got very few needs, lots of charm and his guilt-tripping skills are top notch.
He has me totally wrapped around his feet.
Some of Jer’s favourite lines, “I’ll let it go if you bake me some cookies… I love you Mom”.
L has my vibe - a middle child, even though she is the youngest - just like me.
(My biological brother is older than me and my step-siblings are younger than me).
A yellow hippo - mid-sized and sporty and always ready for adventure and snuggles.
We sense our own uniqueness, we like to make people laugh, we love being active, we’re justice warriors and we have a bit of a rebellious side.
Lem is the voice of reason and has the best lines to shut down her brother Rudy’s ‘mazingness’.
Some of Lem’s favourite lines, “Are the Blue Jays playing?”, “Are the Raptors playing?”, “Is Pittsburgh playing? I love Sydney Crosby.” and… “Be Quiet, Rudy!”.
During my younger adult years, HARJL stayed up on a shelf in my bedroom.
As I moved in with Jim at thirty-four, he asked about the story behind the hippos.
I let him know how much they had been my emotional support during my childhood and teen years and how I find their smiles have always brought me comfort.
He looked at them and picked each one up individually.
He wanted to know the story behind each of them.
It then morphed into both of us giving them voices, personalities and qualities that made each one unique and fully part of our family.
This made my heart swell.
I was so happy that my hippos were back fully in my life and they now had, Jim.
Jim and I are both creative souls with great imaginations and a strong sense of play.
So HARJL coming into our lives, just fed this completely in our relationship.
And it became another healthy layer in our partnership.
We also learned the value in speaking through HARJL to each other, especially when one of us was in the bad books. Hearing a HARJL voice and a classic HARJL line always broke the tension and had us both smiling and laughing and back in each other’s good books.
HARJL also became “therapy dolls” for Jim’s son when he was staying with us for a number of years and going through a rough patch. He would hug them, play with their ears and even take a few of them on “pizza runs”. I think that was more for my benefit because he knew how much I loved HARJL being part of our world.
A few years later when Jimmy was getting married, I got the best shock ever when Jimmy and Amie invited HARJL to their wedding. I really lucked out with Jim’s family — they have all embraced HARJL so beautifully and without any judgment. We all have great laughs with HARJL and they all accept that HARJL is part of my authentic self and they make me feel safe in being fully me.
I asked a family friend to make suits and dresses for HARJL for the big wedding.
What she created for them was fantastic and she coined her designs, “hippo couture”. Love it.
Jim had made a wooden swing with HARJL on the top frame and at the wedding, HARJL sat in their swing taking in the event. That is, when they weren’t being picked up and having photos taken with them with various family or when Hilly and Jer started to have a drink and dance on our table… they really do live quite a life.
They’ve been with me through everything…
and they’ve always brought me back to something steady.
December 2018.
I was feeling the need to further my spiritual and personal development.
I found a metaphysical store in Oakville called Akasha’s Den.
A retail store featuring crystals, books, wall hangings, unique jewelry and so much more. It also offered private healing sessions, meditation circles and workshops.
I signed up for an Angel Guidance and Illumination reading with Christine Miokovic.
I was immediately taken by her warm and bubbly nature.
The safe space she created.
The beautiful energy she emitted.
And her life story and wisdom she shared amongst the angel guidance.
I was so grateful for her session that I asked if she offered any other services.
She told me she lived in Bloor West village and offered readings there as well.
That was close to my neighbourhood and I had a strong feeling I had just been given the gift of my next therapist.
Since 2018, I’ve had a number of readings with Christine.
She has been a steadying force for me while my life went through some shifts.
I’ve attended one of her meditation circles and healing circles as well and this has introduced me to some wonderful people who share the same openness to this kind of connection and healing.
I’ve also done a few of her Rainbow Energy Healing Sessions.
Different coloured crystals are placed on a table that align with each chakra.
She goes over each stone and the attached Angel and message.
Then I shift to lying on the table and Christine moves around the table with her hands above my body receiving messages from Angels and helping me to clear the energy centres in my body.
She uses a combination of crystals, Reiki, sound healing and cards to bring me angel messages that always make me feel seen, encouraged, connected and loved.
In one of those readings, as I was lying on the table and Christine’s hands were above my heart chakra, she said to me, “I see you have children”.
Tears welled in my eyes.
I told her I don’t have any children (a core wound in my lfie).
She then said, “Yes you do”.
I smiled and said to her, “well if you’re talking about the stuffed hippo kind…”
She laughed.
They have so much beautiful energy around them.
They are very much like your spirit guides.
And the energy between you is that of a mother and her children.
They give and receive love.
I felt this deeply in my whole heart and soul.
I absolutely loved that finally… HARJL had come through in a reading.
What beautiful confirmation of what I already fully knew.
HARJL have been with me for almost forty-eight years.
We’ve been through everything together.
And they’ve given me so much of what I’ve always needed:
Love - expressed, received and returned in unexpected ways.
Seen - even when it doesn’t come from where I expected.
Connection - when I was waiting for it, needed it and always had it.
Levity - giving me lightness through life’s pain and unpredictability.
After going through a challenging time in my workplace and suffering a heart attack.
I sat at home, hoping my school community would show me some love and support.
I received a flower delivery with a card that said… the school’s name… that’s it.
I felt more pain from that than my actual heart attack.
A few days later, I received an email from a colleague.
There was an attachment.
I opened it.
It was a photo of a bunch of stuffed animals holding a sign that read,
“We miss you! Hope you’re feeling better soon”.
Once again, what I wasn’t receiving, I received from an unexpected place.
Some compassion and love from the stuffed animals.
Once again, it met my need to be loved, to be seen, to feel connected and they gave me the levity I needed in a heavy emotional time.
I realize that connection doesn’t always come in expected forms.
But wherever it comes from—it still counts.
And sometimes… it’s even more honest.
The biggest realization is this…
I can create connection, care, and meaning—in ways that are real for me.
HARJL is part of me—my spiritual journey, my peace, and my ease.
PRACTICAL SOUL REFLECTION
What if connection doesn’t have to look a certain way to be real…
but simply needs to feel like you?
And what if that connection is sometimes even a little… “mazing.”
PRACTICAL SOUL EXERCISE
“I talk to myself… because I need expert advice.”
You might smile at that.
You might cringe a little.
Or you might think… yep, that’s me.
Either way—you’re invited to try something simple.
Have a conversation.
It could be:
with a stuffed animal
a plant
an inanimate object
or… even a spoon
Let yourself speak freely.
Say what’s on your mind.
Ask a question.
See what comes back.
Notice:
what you say
how you say it
and what kind of response you give yourself
You might be surprised by the tone.
You might hear wisdom.
You might hear humour.
You might just laugh.
And if this doesn’t feel like your thing—no worries.
Come back to the quote.
Have the conversation with yourself.
Pause.
Check in.
Listen.
Can you:
meet yourself with honesty?
offer yourself support?
speak to yourself in a way that feels kind?
Because at the end of the day…
Connection doesn’t have to follow a certain form to be real.
And sometimes, the most important voice you hear… is your own.
PRACTICAL SOUL VIBE
Trust what shows up for you—even when it arrives in unexpected forms.